As an American, when I'm home in the states, I tend to take things for granted. However, whenever I am abroad and am living within a different set of cultural standards I find myself feeling the utmost pride and gratitude for my upbringing.
Now, I want to preface by saying that I absolutely love Uganda, its people, and many of the cultural traditions. However, this whole patriarchal society thing is really killing me. The men here use the Bible as justification for controlling women; saying that women ought to be submissive to their loving husbands. Okay, well if that's the case, why are women meant to be submissive to all men? Why do they claim it is part of the culture and it has always been this way when missionaries have only been here for a half-century or so? Does women being submissive mean that they are inferior to men?
When I shared my opinion of the topic in an appropriate setting with Ugandan men that I know well, I found that I was literally being laughed at when I said that men and women are equal in America. Their response was, "I could never imagine women being of the same status as me." I also got, "when I go home, I make commands from my chair and things get done." Or, "if my wife is not behaving properly, I can beat her and she will thank me for showing her my love."
You've got to be kidding me! As a catholic, I don't think that the Bible condones abuse and gender hierarchy. Maybe the Bible has outlined different gender roles, but they do not imply superiority or inferiority based on one's biological make-up, right?
I also don't think that the way America runs things is the way that all countries should run things. I appreciate and respect cultural differences. I cherish them. So, I suppose after saying that it's not appropriate for me to follow by saying that I think equality of race, religion, gender, etc is the purist way to live.
So this is my most current struggle. I've known that this is the way of life here, but hearing it from men that I truly respect and consider my good friends is difficult to deal with. I keep telling myself that it's just a cultural difference (which it is) and we need to respect one another (and I do) but it's just not enough to help me sleep at night.
The purpose of Peace Corps is not to change anybody based on my cultural beliefs, but I think that awareness is important. Just how I am sharing my Ugandan experiences with all who read my blog, I am also sharing my American upbringing with Ugandans here. Again, not to force change upon people but solely for awareness. Culture of a people adapts over time due to its own circumstances for biological and societal survival and it is awareness that contributes to this evolution.
Hi Lisa- Oh how I can understand your frustration. Ephesians 5 has been used by 'man" to control others since God's word was established. I guess the real question is if the ones applying it have read the whole word....because is speaks specifically about how the husband is to treat the wife.....sacrificially, like Christ. True, God calls a wife to submit (be caring and responsive and supportive), but he also calls the husband to love like Christ loves the church. I don't believe you will find any scripture that says Christ would "beat" his church.In fact I believe the word "cherish" is used (verse 29) when describing the relationship.
ReplyDeleteHaving lived in another culture I can honestly tell you that you will not change them, but you will give them cause to think. Encourage them to read God's word....better yet, read it to them. They will not have an argument, at least not with you.
Hugs- Aunt Kelly